Monday, December 22, 2008

What is it?

What is hurt? When another takes what you want to remain/get? The sense of loss?

What is heaven? a place where everything is constantly improving, or a place where everything is already perfect? In that case, what then is perfection? Where everyone can do whatever they please, when they please, how they please, and they like it? Or is it a choice and a state of mind where everyone's happy and joyful, taking life at it's fullest?

Questions and answers are life's journey's, taken to fulfill yourself. The longer it takes to travel between the two, the stronger you become. - What is the one question to which we will never know the answer? This one? - The really mind-bending part comes in when the answers are questions. O well, the mind needs that stretch every now and then. :D

How does a man become something he's not? By God's grace? Find it.
- This is what I imagine when I ask a question. I am a light, like a star. Then, within me, I sense something turning on, a stronger light overwhelms me. In that moment, everything clears to reveal what's ahead. And all I see is the lights, the stars, some suns and a great planet passing me.
Where this is, I can only imagine. Is heaven.
And every question is like that. The clarity enhances a bit when I'm listening to certain songs, but other than that it's always crystal clear. I just have to focus hard enough.
- There, I've explained myself. Go listen to Bach's prelude. blah.

Journey's to go on.

I figure this might just be the only thing I like that I'm good at... is writing. So I will write.

I'm missing those days of innocence. I miss the days when I knew everything... when the world was at my feet and I could pick anything out of a miserable world and enlighten it. Bring light to it.
I like thinking about inspiring people. I like imagining smiles. Laughter in the heart, riches for the poorer, light in the darkness. Flowers in a vase on the windowsill in a hospital. They could be daisies. Maybe roses.
I guess everyone does... I might be the only one who imagines what i imagine, but I think other people want to see the best in people. Want to see people step up to believing what they need to truly live. Want to see them keep going. Want to see them take one more breath, my more chance, and one more look into our lives. Because those people are doing what they do best, we keep smiling. Maybe it's for them, too, maybe we only do it to "appease" them. :)
And maybe it's more than that. Maybe we do it so that we get better. It seems to be more like our own selves betraying our original dark and solemn nature to make them see a blaring light right out of the sky, that candle someone left there to burn a way into people's minds. So that they might at least know where they're going when they choose.
We are the mapmakers. We are the lights. We are the scapegoats in the darkness that people point at, we are the beacon in the mist people cry to when they're shipwrecked.

And to think... after all that... both of us still end up human. Who gained? Who got the better place? Who improved the most, got the most, stored the most, scored the most?
Do we all end up equal in the end?
Then why try in the first place?


It's more than that. It's the trying that makes us more than who we are, as a steel bar tried by fire becomes a strong sword. Or a protecting shield.

And more questions still: what is a bold statement when it's made every week? Every second? Every day? Why do we have to struggle, is it just part of our routine? Is this part of the cycle?

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